Being a teem mom I know what its like to struggle through obstacles and deal with teen pregnancy stigma but I also know the indescribable feeling your baby gives you when they radiate pure love through their tiny little heart showing you a whole new world through their eyes making everything all worth it. I wanted to know what other teen moms feel so I asked them three questions:
- What is your favorite part about being a mom?
- What is the hardest part of being a teen mom?
- Do you think people treat you differently being a teen mom why or why not? How or how not?
Tori: Mother of Ryder
1. My fav part/parts are mornings when I wake up Ryder has the biggest smile on his face and kisses me. Or the baby cuddles
2. Hardest part: trying to finish school and finding time for myself
3. Some people have made some comments. But whether we are 16,19,29.38 raising a baby is hard but also the most rewarding thing in the world
1. My favorite part about being a mom is watching him learn and figure things out, the first time he smiled and sat up literally made my heart explode! It’s just amazing to be able to make a little human that looks like you!
2. Hardest part about being a teen mom for me is financing, paying for my own place is expensive and then it’s pointless to work since daycare would just eat up whatever I make so it’s always hard to get ahead or so fun things, and then since it’s hard to work I am lonely all the time. I am so lucky to have Caleb who is so hands-on and present.
3. Not directly, but I don’t look necessary like a teen mom. The only looks I get happen to be from older moms but that’s all I’ve ever gotten
1. I’ve been trying to answer this question for 15 minutes now and I can’t. I don’t know how to pick one part. Being a mom is my favorite thing in the whole world for so many reasons. My son gave me a reason to live. He motivated me to change and gave me the courage to fight when I couldn’t stop stumbling. He’s two years old and barely two feet tall yet somehow he picks me up when I’m down and makes me laugh like I didn’t know I could. There’s an innocence to children, and it’s so pure and beautiful and unlike anything else in the world. They love like nobody else loves. It comes with no strings attached; they simply love you for just existing. They radiate so, so much love and joy and laughter and curiosity. Everything is so big and bright for them. My son is my favorite part of being a mom. I love watching him grow and learn and change every single day. I love his belly laugh and his toothy grin and his slobbery kisses. I love the way he screams “mommy!” when he hasn’t seen me for a whole 5 minutes and launches himself into my arms. I love waking up to his sleepy face and bed head every morning when he kisses my face until I wake. I love the way his face lights up over the Christmas tree and how fiery his personality is. I love his wildness; how burly and untamed his little heart is. I love him on his good days and I love him hard on his bad days. He is my favorite part of being a mom. He is my favorite part of everything. Because of him, I don’t just exist anymore. He woke me up. He showed me what it means to live. He gave my life a purpose and a reason; motherhood gave my life a purpose and a reason. And that’s my favorite part of it.
2. I think being a mom is hard no matter what your age. Nobody is ever really prepared for it. It flips your whole world upside down and turns it inside out in the greatest way possible. But I do think there are some disadvantages to being a teen mom, the biggest one being financial stability. It’s much easier to afford a child and feel comfortable financially when you’re 30 and out in the world and have been working a good job for years. Having a baby when you’re so young, you have to do a lot of things backward. You don’t get the house and then have the baby. You have that beautiful baby and work hard, really hard, to make sure he’s provided for. But that’s okay. It’s not about the order that things get done. It’s about getting them done.
3. I think there’s a lot of negative stigmas that go along with the phrase “teen mom”. I know I’m guilty of having thought them in the past. And where there are definitely disadvantages and reasons why people think having a child young is such a horrible thing, I’ve grown to learn what most people see and understand: that age doesn’t define your ability to parent. I know young moms who are absolutely killing it and I know moms in their thirties who should never have had a child, and vice versa. People know a good mom when they see one, rather she’s 18 or 32, and that’s why I have had people have the stigmatized reaction to me being a teen mom, but never one that stuck around past a few moments
1. Everything really! Always having someone to love unconditionally, finding a purpose, the smiles, the laughs!
2. People not respecting you the same way they respect older moms.
3. Sometimes, sometimes I can tell people look down on me for being a younger mom and other times people don’t see me as any different!
The reason I asked these three questions was to show how hard teen mothers work, how many obstacles they face, the negative stigma of teen moms that needs to disappear but most importantly to show that no matter what the age, all of these amazing teen moms love their baby just as much as if they had them when they were thirty. I have gotten to know each of these mothers a little bit and I can say without a doubt they are amazing mothers that I look up to every single day. All of their children are happy, healthy and very loved which is the most important thing. Being a teen mother is hard there are so many more obstacles to overcome and all of these ladies are rocking it! Thank you so much to all of the mothers that participated you are all doing a fantastic job!